On New Year’s Day, veteran games journalist and friend of the site Kyle Orland started one of my favorite engagement projects over on Bluesky. He dared to commit to name a different game every single day this year that is somehow notable to him. Others joined in. What a great way to get to know everyone’s individual histories and tastes!
I joined in, too. For about two weeks.
I got to remember some cool games, like Pit Fighter. Jesus Christ, Pit Fighter is weird. And why did I play so much of it as a child? Where would I have even played so much of it? Where were my parents?
Almost any time I start to participate in something like this…something light and airy and normal and fun…I begin, in short time, to overthink it. At Fanbyte it was like this, too. “This could be a blog” was the constant refrain every time one of us would post a coherent critical thought about a game on Twitter. And while I don’t fully subscribe to the idea that every single stray thought you have about your subject of expertise should or could be turned into written work at your day job, it’s a feeling that has stuck with me as this very website has fallen on hard times in terms of publishing great written work.
The other problem I have is I start to question my ability to actually fulfill the promise of the project. Can I, a thirty-nine year old who has played video games for thirty-five of those years, actually name 365 games? Is this the breezy social media engagement activity that will finally expose me as a fraud? Can I even imagine 365 of anything?*
Okay maybe there’s a third thing, too. For five years I’ve thought ADHD has impacted my ability to work at a level I know I have to in order to meet my own personal goals for my life. It also impacts my ability to participate in things like social media engagement projects consistently. It impacts my ability to return emails. It’s hard to remember tasks I need to do even if they’re fun. I’ve never been screened for ADHD and while this might be the worst time in the last forty years to try to improve my mental health, I’ve made an appointment in February to do just that.
So thank you, Kyle and the concept of video games, for creating a fun project that embarrassed me to my core so badly that I’m finally going to find out what’s wrong with my brain. I deeply, sincerely appreciate it.
*I did the napkin math and I’ve played well over 500 games but can’t confidently say I’ve played over 1,000
